In my counseling I have noticed that there is a huge epidemic of people who are struggling with being out of tune and out of touch with their bodies. For example, I notice that it is very common for people to have no idea what their bodies are asking them for in terms of food, exercise, rest, and play, and they don’t know how to tune into the storehouse of knowledge that their body contains. This is as common in people who have had eating disorders as it is with those who have not. Most of us grow up never being taught how to listen to our bodies.

Here are some common symptoms of body disconnection I have witnessed both in myself, and in those with whom I have worked:

  • The feeling that your body constantly “craves” foods that are seemingly unhealthy.
  • Feeling that your body is working against you, either in that it is not the size or shape you want it to be, or that it can’t perform the tasks you would like it to.
  • Having trouble regulating your eating or sleeping cycles.
  • Not having the ability to tap into your body awareness to let you know if a situation is right for you or not.
  • Having difficulty finding a lifestyle that works for you, and constantly jumping from one diet to another.

These are all signs that you have fallen out of trust and out of sync with your body. When you are in sync with your body, finding a diet and lifestyle that really works for you, and the ability to love and respect your body, will all become much easier. So if you are feeling that you have lost touch with your body, I have five tools that can help bring you back in touch with your most precious gift here on earth.

Rest when you’re tired

This is my number one tool for re-establishing a loving connection with your body, because rest is often not as emotionally charged as changing your eating habits, but is still vital to your health and wellbeing. It’s also a way to demonstrate to yourself that you honour your need for nourishment. Rest can be incredibly nourishing, and by taking the time to rest when you need rest, you’re communicating to yourself and to your body that you value you. If you’re used to pushing yourself to within an inch of your breaking point, or past your breaking point before you rest, this tip is for you. This doesn’t mean that you have to take a  three-hour nap every time you’re sleepy. A quick, 15-minute break where you close your eyes, do something you enjoy doing that doesn’t require a tonne of focus (like reading a light book), or just sitting and breathing at your desk all count and will all start to bridge the gap between you and your body.

Notice how you feel before, during, and after a meal

It can be so helpful to cultivate awareness around your eating, without the intention of changing anything about the way you’re eating. Simply by taking a moment or two to notice how you feel before you eat, notice how you feel during your meal, and then again, to pause after your meal to take note of how you feel will begin to set a pattern where you actively check in with your body 2-3 times a day (or more if you’re a snacker  ). These regular check-ins will  start to re-build that bond and help you recognize  signals from your body to your mind and spirit – and because eating is something you do several times a day, it will be easy to set this new pattern. You may also notice that you start to crave different foods as you progress with this practice, or notice that there are correlations between how you feel before you eat and what you choose to eat, or how that food digests.

Journal for five minutes every day

Journaling is one of the best tools you have when it comes to connecting with yourself. I recommend that you sit with a pen or pencil and paper at night before you go to bed, and write without lifting your writing tool off the paper for five minutes straight. This is called stream of consciousness writing, and it’s very helpful in cases where you’re feeling disconnected from yourself. In this practice, if you do it repeatedly, you may find that you uncover unconscious thought patterns that are keeping you from trusting your body. By bringing them to light in this way, you will be better able to move past and heal those thoughts.

Connect patterns in life with eating patterns

This tip is a little more advanced, but it can be very useful if you’re ready to do some deeper work. The way I recommend you set this up is in a journal create 3 columns like this:

[Situation]    [How I felt after the situation]    [My food cravings afterward]

  • In the Situation column, list anything that was emotionally charged for you that day. This could be a stressful meeting with your boss, an exam at school, or a fight with your boyfriend. You may also want to note situations that were more positive, like getting a promotion or acing an exam.

  • In the How I felt after the situation column, record how the emotionally charged situation made you feel. For instance, maybe the meeting with your boss made you feel scared and insecure, perhaps your test made you feel inadequate, and maybe the promotion made you feel elated and proud of yourself. Finally, list any food cravings or food-related associations that came about after your event in the My food cravings afterward column.

Perhaps you will notice that you always want some chocolate after situations that make you feel small and powerless, or that you always crave wine when you accomplish something. You may also note that certain situations and emotional states make you feel like avoiding food, and that should also be noted. Again, this is not necessarily about changing anything, just about cultivating awareness and connection.

Ditch killer workouts and go for fun

This is my last and favourite tip in the area of becoming more connected with your body, because it’s the one that really turned things around for me. The right kind of workout can help boost your mood, help you to think through things that may be going on in your life, and help you to discover the joy of your body through movement. The wrong kind of workout can make you feel depressed, tired, and disconnected. I used to push myself through rigorous workouts every day because I thought that’s what I needed to do if I wanted to be lean, toned, and healthy. But the truth was that I hated these workouts, they stressed me out, stressed my body out, did not give me the body that I wanted, and ultimately left me feeling more disconnected from my body than connected to it.

When I finally started to honour the fact that I wanted to do more gentle workouts like yoga, dance, and pilates, I was able to find joy in movement again. I developed a deeper trust that my body knew what it wanted, and if I was to listen, I felt a lot better. And as a bonus, I actually began to see favourable changes in the way my body looked and felt. I’m not saying you should give up marathon training or serious weight workouts at the gym if you love doing those things; the key is to do what you love, and only what you love.

I really hope that this article has given you some practical tools you can use in your life to re-establish a deep and loving connection with your body. It is there for you as a gift and a tool, and should make you feel good.

About the author

Ali Washington is a Registered Holistic Nutritionist, yoga instructor, trained life coach, Reiki Master and author of The Perception Diet. She has fully healed herself from anorexia, which she dealt with for about 10 years, and has now dedicated her life to assisting those who are still struggling in finding freedom. She fully believes that there is life after an eating disorder, and she hopes that through her words or through her one-on-one coaching, she can help support as many recovery success stories as she can.